bcifi

“Are you still taking that online class on brain interfaces?”

“I dropped out, Mike. I just train servicers full-time now.” She paused to jerk Rover back as he strained against his leash. “It’s a lot easier now that these brain interfaces are finally legal again.” Rover struggled again. She thought a brief command and Rover crumpled and whined as a taser plug activated.

Mike also stopped walking and pointed to his four servicers in training. “See that? That’s called pain compliance.” All four of them nodded and wagged their tongues obsequiously as their leashes went slack. Mike looked up at his cousin. “Yeah, I got my servicer training license a year ago today. Did you learn anything interesting in that class?”

“Well, it was mostly common knowledge, which is why I dropped out. Way back in the 2010s, companies were selling brain interfaces for dogs. Put this thing on its head and recognize 14 different emotional states. More than they could do with humans at the time.” She laughed. “Then they said they could identify which dogs would make good service animals.”

“Oh yeah. So those dogs were kinda like servicers.” He stopped walking to let Fido hunch and pinch under a tree.

“Kinda. Then they got bidirectional, stimulating dog brains to make them smarter. And at the same time, humans kept getting dumber.” As she spoke, Rover went to relieve himself next to Fido. “The decline of humanity was predicted by a movie called Idiocracy –  which many people, including you, Mike, judge as brilliant.”

“Well, sure. Humans were our masters for millennia before they got – Hey! Fido! Finish up!” Fido strained, completed his act, then took a bag out of his belt pouch and cleaned up his poop. Mike patted the top of Fido’s bald head approvingly. “Who’s a good boy? Who’s dog’s best friend?”