bcifi

“We’re planning to launch some of the AI tools to identify online behaviors we’ve been developing and testing. In fact, we’ve been testing them all on you employees here at these videoconference meetings.” The dozen faces on the monitor looked at each other awkwardly. “By speculating from video, we can determine whether people are performing background activities like petting a dog, smoking, fidgeting, touching themselves inapprop-”

“What?” Blucher froze, aside from speaking. “You’re using this shit right now?”

“Yes. I’ll just look here – ah! I see why you’re concerned. And why you just moved your left shoulder and upper arm.” The rest of the meeting participants laughed as Blucher blushed.

“I was just scratching.”

“Noooo… according to the AI, you were-”

“OK OK fine but this raises major privacy issues.”

“It does, which are addressed in your contract. Nonetheless, the obvious and vigorous nature of said left arm and shoulder movements, coupled with your priceless facial expressions, made artificial sensing unnecessary.” She paused as others in the meeting nodded. Blucher deactivated his camera.

“We can also interpret activity from that headset you’re wearing. So we can also determine how alert and attentive you’ve been during meetings. For example, Mr. Blucher, I’m looking at your very recent activity – highly attentive. Almost panicked. Good job.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you. But am I in trouble for- um, just some adjustments-”

“Not at all. In fact, we plan on ordering all of our staff to do it, which I anticipate with more enthusiasm than most said dicta. Actually self-touching during work makes employees happier, more efficient, less fatigued, and more attentive overall. Whereas you seem highly inattentive, Miss Quiroga.”

“Huh?”

“Your bonuses this year will be based partly on your attention to our meetings. Ah, I see you all perked up at the word bonuses. We’ve determined there’s a huge market for employers seeking to verify that remote workers are actually working. And specifically working for us. You, Mr. Tiliakos, exhibit EEG that appears highly attentive but you are playing a game in the background during this meeting.”

The offending employee peered, peeved, through thick glasses. “How can you tell?” His computer shared the unmistakable sound of a ship crashing followed by a deep voice saying “Game over.”

“SSVEP in the background on this monitor only, plus tracking P3s, N4s, and other signals to the speaker’s voice. You were paying attention, but not to me.”

Blucher spoke up. “But you still can’t really tell what we’re thinking, right?”

“No.” Blucher hung up. Six months later, he released a suite of countermeasures that sold quite well.