Building CommunIcation

About the author

Three of the people who played Exploration, which does feature brains in little cars. From left to right: Chris Kanaar, Laura Kanaar (who didn’t play), Andy Weir, and me. We were at an Escape Room in Fort Collins. Andy had a speaking engagement there and the other three of us went to hang out with him and his wife Ashley.

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Building CommunIcation by Brendan ZaChary AllIson

“Hear hear! Think think!” Rene thought forcefully and the room went silent and thoughtless. “This Meeting of the Minds is devoted to debate about two options to discover how we can reproduce. Clear your minds and prepare to hear the debate between Dr. Hfuhruhurr and High Priest Kalbfleischer. They will present their proposals. Then, we will all vote on one of these options.”

Dr. Hfuhruhurr thought first. “I’ve been reconstructing the ancient database. Our ancestors did not use lifecars like we do-“

“Heresy! Then how did they circulate blood, process fud and nitroxy, stay warm, move, reproduce, connect with Our King?!”

“Their meatcars had components for all that called organs… like a heart, stomach, uvula, and Hammond B3. They even had an organ called a brain that looks a lot like us. They might have organs to reproduce too. But these ancient phatchips are badly degraded. I can’t learn more without more neuricles to repair and process the information on these phatchips on our crashed Edenship.”

“That is just phatchip crazy,” replied Kalbfleischer. “We know truetruth from those torn pages on the Edenship from the ancient king. They clearly say that only our lord can give life. We must devote all neuricles to prayer and King James will save us.”

“Enough debate!” thought Rene. “We must preserve our neuricles for the solution that we all choose, so don’t think too hard. Our neurocracy relies on voting. Think your vote now.”

Author Commentary

I wrote this short-short in March 2023.

I wrote and then lost a longer version of this story in the early 90s. We used to play a game called Exploration that featured a race called Theta-2s that were essentially furry brains that used little cars to get around.

The conflict between science and religion is central in a lot of fiction and nonfiction, and will remain prominent well into the future.

Rene is a shout-out to Rene Descartes. He thinks; therefore, he is.

My dad had a Hammond B3, which is a musical instrument called an organ. It was a joke here; the database is corrupted and so it’s realistic within this diegesis.

Dr. Hfuhruhurr was Steve Martin’s character in The Man with 2 Brains.

Dr, Kalbfleischer stems from Grey Matters, a good read from 1971. Kalbfleish also means Veal, a play on the “meatlessness” of these brains in vats and a shout-out to Terry Bisson’s “They’re Made Out of Meat.”

“Neuricles” aren’t explicitly defined here. That’s intentional. Hopefully, it’s clear from context that they reflect some type of information processing. I thought about using “quatloos” to amuse fellow Trek nerds. I preferred the idea that neural processing is valuable, akin to currency.

Phatchip (batshit) crazy is ironic because these disembodied brains presumably don’t know about bats, batshit, or the phrase “batshit crazy.”

The characters are intentionally genderless. They never use any gender pronoun. They seem unaware of concepts like male and female – which would help them figure out how to reproduce. While readers may associate “king” with the male gender, that’s not always true; check out King Jadwiga.

Fud is real. It’s the #1 packaged meat maker in Mexico, where I am now.

Realism

This is another story that’s very far from reality. The idea of a “brain in a vat” is quite old, and remains popular today through The Matrices and other BCI – fi. Brains couldn’t survive in vats, let alone interact as they do in this story. We also don’t have space travel like portrayed here.

This story implies these are humans, but I left it fuzzy (like Theta-2s). Other species might have stomachs, hearts, uvulas, and brains. They might even have an organ like a Hammond B3.

Hope

Building CommunIcation ends with a 2AFC paradigm, like The Lady or The Tiger by Frank Stockton. “2AFC” is an acronym for 2 Alternative Forced Choice. In other words, you *must* choose one of two choices; you can’t abstain, propose a third option, or anything else. For example, what if I had to choose between keeping or removing that silly wordplay? 2 AFC or not 2 AFC?

Presumably, this society will end if they choose to divert their neuricles to prayer. They won’t be saved by King James, God, or any other entity that will somehow help them reproduce or provide any other deific intervention.

You could presume otherwise. Maybe they are being watched by a supernatural or other entity that would indeed help them. Maybe this society will go extinct, but will find such joy and meaning through prayer that it’s the best choice. I specified that they just had torn pages – not the entire Bible or other book – to add more uncertainty. The Bible has many verses stating that only God gives life. They might only have one of them, or just part of one of them.

Whether we should hope for their survival is another question. What if they deserved to be abandoned and alone? If they did manage to reproduce, their offspring would wipe out the rest of the galaxy.

In the older, longer version, they learn that the Edenship was a prison ship, raising more questions. Was their de-embodiment part of their punishment? What if they didn’t deserve their punishment? Since they don’t seem to recall how or why they got there, do they still deserve punishment?

Their de-embodiment might have been quite the opposite of punishment. It could be seen as the ultimate goal of transhumanism. Perhaps many humans in the future seek such disembodiment. It may only be viable for the wealthy. As implied by the Edenship, these characters may chosen disembodiment and travel to a new planet for religious reasons, much like many pilgrims across time and culture.

Maybe being brains in vats was necessary for some reason. Lifecars might use less oxygen, food, water, and other resources than our bodies. They might have chosen to “freebrain” for interplanetary travel; you need a much smaller spaceship to house brains if they aren’t also burdened with bodies. Also less fuel and many other benefits.

Revision History

I revised this short-short story in 2026 for consistency with a (loose) sequel called aBsurd appliCatIon. Thanks to my friend, Dr. Eric Rabkin, for reading that sequel and a great chat today that inspired some revisions and commentary.

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